Hey there! We're a plural system, meaning we're a group of people who share one body. If you're here, you probably already know that, but if you don't, you can find a 101 on plurality over here.
Thanks for dropping by!
Our regulars are the people you're most likely to see! They're almost always around, and come outside on a regular basis.
|Phosphor||P.||he/him, they/them||Anxious social butterfly with their head in the digital cloud.|
|Bastion||B.||he/him, she/her||Trying his best to keep the system from being a complete disaster.|
|Lark||Lk.||he/him, they/them||Writer of essays, poems, and cover letters.|
Our irregulars aren't around as much, but you'll probably still run into them if you're around us a lot.
|Laurel||Ll.||he/him||Artistic recluse and knife appreciator.|
|Celeste||Ce.||he/him||Techie who secretly loves being cozy.|
Our occasionals, well, only show up occasionally. You're not as likely to encounter them, even if we hang out a lot, but we're still putting them here for reference.
|Frost||Fr.||he/him||Trying to keep his hopes as high as his standards.|
|Nocturne||Nc.||he/him||Advocate of god-slaying for pleasure and profit.|
|"N"||N*||she/her||A delightful vaguely-person-shaped concept.|
|Kestrel||K.||she/her||Wants to someday play a paladin in D&D.|
|Seren||S.||she/her||A deeply tired intern. Still figuring out payment.|
There are also many people who only stay inside. Some of them burnt out on outer life; some of them just have no interest in it. By their own preferences, they are not listed here.
Q. What should I call you guys?
A. If you're referring to our system as a whole, you can refer to us with they/them pronouns and whichever collective name we're using in that space - "Otters," "Lions," "Ghosts," and so forth. (We do have a formal system name, but it's private.)
If you're referring to an individual person in our system, we'd prefer that you use their own name and pronouns. That being said, if you don't know those, we'll all still respond to the aforementioned collective name and they/them pronouns. Think of it as like addressing someone by their family name.
Q. What should I do if I don't know who's outside?
A. You're okay. There are many places where we act as one unit and don't mark who's talking. We don't expect anyone to keep track of who's who in those situations. In general, really, we don't expect people to keep track of who's who unless we're close friends.
It's always super nice when people are interested in doing so, though! If you're not sure who's out right now and want to know, it's always okay to ask.
Q. What should I do if I want to talk to someone who isn't out right now?
A. Just ask politely if you can speak to them. Sometimes, we'll be able to fetch them here. If not, we can leave them a message.
Q. How old are you all? Will I be interacting with any child members?
A. We're bodily above 21. Everyone who comes outside is also internally above 21, so you can safely assume that you won't be interacting with any children.
Q. Do you have DID?
A. Short answer: yes. Longer answer: it's complicated. We meet DID criteria, having amnesia and dissociation alongside various comorbid disorders. However, a number of people in our system are less than enthusiastic about the label, whether out of discomfort with medicalization, frustration with the DID community, or anxiety about not having "suffered enough."
Generally, while we'll introduce ourselves as having DID for the sake of building understanding and combating stigma, we prefer to simply identify as "dissociatively plural."
Q. Are you dangerous?
A. Please don't buy into the stigma surrounding DID. We're people just like anyone else. We're personally disheartened by the tremendous amount of hate and violence we see in the world, and we try to live as compassionately as possible.
Q. You mentioned amnesia? What's that like?
A. We're very fortunate in that we generally have a high degree of co-consciousness. When someone is out, usually the others can remember the gist of what happened, and we don't usually forget important personal information like our legal name, birthday, and so on. Some details are lost here and there, and everything from before a few years ago is scrambled and blurry, but we have enough to function normally.
Under enormous stress or in the face of certain triggers, however, our memory becomes much more fractured. We have more trouble remembering what happened while others were out, sometimes to the point of full amnesia. We may have trouble remembering who we are, where we are, and when we are. We carefully monitor ourselves to make sure that we don't reach those thresholds, or at least make sure that we have personal records and trusted people nearby when we do.
Q. What caused your plurality?
A. We don't entirely know. We know that some of us were the product of childhood abuse and that some of us weren't. (And some of us simply don't know and don't care.) The jury's out on whether we've always had a predisposition to plurality, whether it was something caused by our trauma, or some mixture of both.
But as we see it, where we came from isn't as important as where we're going.
Q. What kind of abuse did you go through?
A. That's between us and our therapists. Please respect our privacy.
Q. Who's the real you?
Q. Do you want integration? (merging all system members into one individual)
A. None of us are interested in integration, and many of us feel extremely uncomfortable about it. We understand that some systems find it their best choice, but it isn't for us.
Q. How do you go about day-to-day life?
A. We try to divide up responsibilities among the fronters (the people who go outside) as best as we can. We're still tweaking our way of doing things, but we're currently taking a leaf out of another system's book and dividing everyone into teams. You can read their essay about how that works over here.
In addition, we hold monthly internal meetings, and we have a set of "house rules" that we all abide by.
Q. Who are you in the everyday world?
A. We live in the US and we tell computers what to do for a living.
We're also very, very queer, and we love Guild Wars 2. Whether elementalist or mesmer is the best class depends on who you ask.
Q. I have more questions.
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Got questions? We'll be glad to provide answers. Just give us a moment of your time and read the following, first:
You are welcome to address messages to specific system members. We will generally sign our responses with our initials. Some responses may be unsigned – this may be because we were blurry, someone wanted to stay anonymous, or just thought the answer was too generic to warrant a signature.
Keep in mind that all CuriousCat asks are public. There is no way for us to respond to an ask privately.
Please do not send us messages about any of the following:
Details on our trauma history
Discourse (shipping, identity, etc)
Politics and current events
Suicide or self-harm. If you are in crisis, please see these resources.
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Be civil. Be cool. Don't be mean.
We reserve the right to not respond to messages for any reason, whether it's lack of time and energy or a desire for privacy. Likewise, we reserve the right to block senders for any reason.
Guidelines may be subject to change as we figure out our boundaries. Thank you for your understanding.
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